Whats with all the lap sitting games? These are youth groups not frat parties. I just don't see how that's good for anyone, might as well play spin the bottle afterwards and call it a night.

I agree, lap sitting is not cool. Plus it makes the students uncomfortable

GAMES

Its all about having fun boys. loosen up will ya.

hey chillax- kids love this game. its only lap sitting.

I think it's a little different for boys than girls, notice both the negative comments came from guys.

i have to agree... lap sitting isnt exactly chaste behaviour

they may as well do a lap dance while at it. not cool

Totally not cool!! if this game is for a youth group, then it is really bad. I know the boys in my group would not like this game at all. They dont even like to touch the girls at all... HORRIBLE GAME!!!

I don't remember seeing anywhere that they are playing the game NAKED. If your kids are too sex crazed to be able to sit on each other's lap without equating it to spin the bottle or lap dancing then maybe you need to skip the game and talk about that issue. Seriously, I've seen a lot of comments on this site so far that suggest that the slightest bit of touching is equal to your kids having sex. I think people might need to lighten up a little.

Matthew 16:23

For us, the issue with lap-sitting is not because it is wrong but because we have a lot of kids in our youth who would consider themselves 'going out'. We do our best to discourage them from public displays of affection (like sitting on each others lap) at youth, so a game like this is kind of contradicting what we are trying to monitor.

if i may.
i try to remember this passage whenever something potentially controversial like this comes up. Romans 14:15-20. It talks about abstaining from something (in this case certain meat) if it might offend or cause your brother/sister to have an issue.

yeah by sitting on each others laps they're not 'having sex' but surely we should be doing all we can to help young people keep their concious' clean?

I can understand that this game as it is written could cause some issues, but i understand that we shouldnt be so worried all the time. I think that the game could be funny if you play it but guys need to sit on guys and girls need to sit on girls. Then it brings another fun competing element to the game as well.

This game is ridiculous. You should very worried.

Just name one teenage boy who is without a hint of sexual immorality. There are none. And if you claim so - then clearly you don't know what you're talking about. Probably besides the fact that you have sexual sin in your life that you don't even see as sin.

And even if there were such a teenage boy in western society, why would you want to subject them to temptation? Unless he is attracted to the same sex, you can't possibly argue that an attractive girl sitting on their lap will not cause any problems.

This is Youth Group, not sex group.

When in doubt...don't! Youth/teens have enough distractions in the world without youth ministry adding to it. Why do we have the need to sit on someone? Same sex or opposite sex...both have their potential issues...why give an opportunity for satan to get his toe in anyone's door...and why this is a topic of question is beyond me!!

Titus 1:15
"To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled."

yet still..

2 Timothy 2:22

"Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

If you think that this game shouldn't be played - boys & girls then change it to girls & girls or boys & boys. No big deal! YOU are the one to decide. YOU are the one who knows your children best. If YOU think this game is inappropriate then skip it! again, YOU decide! No need to slam the poor guy (or anyone else for that matter) for an idea that was NOT meant to offend anyone.

haiyo...

i think this is good for younger kids.

As a Youth Group, we only play the games which our Youth members are comforatable doing. I think that this is something that all Groups should take into consideration.

Also, if teenagers - guys and girls alike - have such a drama sitting on the knees of the other gender, than this may a good activity to improve their self-confiddence and confidence with members of the other gender.
You could adjust the game to suit your group.

every one who thinks this game is over the top, calm down i played this game at yr 10 retreat only boys were on hands and knees and girls would sit on their back. but really all us girls were intrested in was beating each other, and the boys wanted to see the lengths the girls would go to, to win. ppl shouldnt worry about what we do or dont think 90percent of the time its about the game and seeing who will win, it was so much fun and is the highligt for everyone who goes to yr 10 retreat at school and not for the reasons some of you think but for the mear fact it is an awsome game!

The best games are the ones you only use for ideas and tweak it to fit your own needs or personal opinions.

congratulations shorty, you've started a riot. lol.

Let me break down why this is a bad idea for a church youth group (especially with older students):

1) Boys have penises.
2) Those penises are located in their laps.
3) Sometimes teenage boys will get erections against their wills (such as when a girl suddenly rubs up against one's lap.)
4) This can cause tremendous embarrassment (or even pain) to both the guy and the girl.

I'm not trying to be prurient, I'm just pointing out what I think some of you are missing. Even if this only happens once during an otherwise innocuous game, it is still extremely detrimental to the group and especially the students involved.

1 Corinthians 10:23

I do not think that this game is a good idea at all. It would be extremely embarrassing to play it in my youth group. That's not even the only problem with it.

you all have issues and this is exactly why kids hate coming to church...people like you. contrary to popular belief kids can play a lap sitting game without wanting to "do" everything that sits on their laps. Seriously...lap dances? and penises? THIS convo is worse than the freakin game! Take a chill pill...it's 2011.

When I was in youth group we played this game and there were never any issues with the boys or girls. It was a fun game, and with everyone laughing and fighing over "chairs" we never thought anything sexual about it. And we never were on eachothers laps for a extended amount of time, just long enough show we made it there first.

whoa! slow down people...fact is culture is presenting ideas contrary to our faith. things to think about here are not the immorality in our youth's mind, but what message do we want to send. Physical touch in itself is not a bad thing, God created is good, it is, however, the context that we do it in. in the teenage stage of life, are they prepared well enough to know how to handle their hormones, or are they still learning? there is no need to label good or bad, because this may be an innapropriate game for certain ages, but for others it would be fine. reflect, don't make haste decisions, really think if the game is suitable for your group.

Peace

I believe this would be a fun game for the right people. There are some young people at my youth who can be very immature and will direct a game like this towards sex. However there is a lot of good kids who wouldn't even think down that line and would get caught up in the excitment of the game. It's hard as a youth leader to draw the line of being to strict, and having fun, when you want to be able to show the kids that you really do love them, that God loves them, yet you have to have the authoritive side.

Isn't it interesting reading everyones self-righteous comments towards this guy who has actually been really helpful in putting his ideas on a website for people to use..
my goodness, have we lost the sense of a bit of fun!
So instead of making a huge mountain out of a tiny molehill how about just trying to get some kids to know Jesus!

guys. take a chill pill. its not like you'd be playing naked or anything....

um...the game sounds fun! but i think it would be best for the more mature kiddies. i have a few awkward kids in my youth group...i think i would play that game a bit later into the year, when everyone is familiar with everyone. but yes..fun

I think as a group we have good perspectives coming from different angles. There are many things written here to consider. I think we need to be lead by the Lords spirit as to if this one will work for your group. I also think that some of the comments are written in an abrasive nature and the Lord teaches us to "coach" each other in LOVE. I appreciate all games posted here as "options" that I can utilize. Can we all agree that the this site is extremely helpful and that some games may or may not always work out in our various enviroments?

I think we as youth group have stand up for what we think is right. It is not nit picking or anything like this. The Topic is purity!!!! We teach them about purity and stay clean but totally lead them into temptation. I think we should be a difference, since they are being thought in school and by society that this is "nothing". Let us not become tolerant, thats what the devil wants!

Wow I can't believe that is even a discussion. This is an inappropriate game for high school kids. It just is. If a girl sits in a guys lap, the guy is going to struggle with thoughts. They may not want to, they may be able to deal with it in a scriptural way, but why put the temptation there? I can tell you, even as a married adult, I would be extremely uncomfortable for a woman other than my wife to sit in my lap, regardless of how "harmless" it was supposed to be. Why would I want to cause the students in my youth group any chance of having an impure thought?

If the adults allow this game to be played by teens, it would mean that we taught them that the opposite sex is okayed to sit on their lap and even more, and subconsciously , would lead them to early sex. Especially we all know how wrecked the youth culture nowadays.
(sorry for my bad English)

OK, so everyone who is bashing this game and its poster and creater are acting in a very unchristian manner. Heavenly Father gave us the right to choose, and also the ability to think. If you don't agree with it, change it to suit or don't do it. Your voice is to edify not crucify! And remember, those who call their brother racca are just as guilty of killing than the sin itself. For those who are edifying, Romans 8:28

I agree that this game would not work in my youth group. At the same time, I see that most of these comments are no better then the comments my students would give me. Somehow I think that we as adult leaders could do a better job supporting and encouraging other leaders rather than bashing.

Kids can definitely play a lap sitting game without having sex with each other, they can even do it, without thinking about sex, but are they likely to think about it? yes. To me the question is less about can we and more about should we. Why take the risk over something so meaningless as a silly game.

I'm a kid and I know this game is a bad idea. I personally know I would have issues morally if this game were played. I like girls. Its nature, the way God intended it. But Youth Groups should not advocate anything that has the slightest chance of creating pervesion. And I think this game definatley fits that.

I've seen a few posts that make the remark that it is not as if they are playing this naked, so it is okay. As an adult, are you going to honestly say the only time you've had inappropriate thoughts was when you were naked? No, it is something we have to guard against at all times. Teenage boys have hormones fighting against them trying to do the right thing. And as sexual as our society has become, girls are fighting to do the right thing too. Playing a game just to play it is not worth the risk of being a stumbling block for one of our teens. Just pick a different game.

Oh, and it is 2011 but Biblical standards of how we are to conduct ourselves still apply.

My husband and me run our youth group and I would have no problem playing this game as long as the boys have to sit on the girls. What's considered compromise is very personal...like convictions. I trust that it would not cause a stumbling block to our youth, who are mostly in high school. For those of you who are bashing, I assume you have a small, boring youth group who, if not able to have fun in the house of God, will drift away the first chance they get. There's liberty in Christ!

Wow Selena, what an arrogant, and conceited thought that because you think something is ok and someone else doesn't that their youth group is small, boring, and that their students are going to fall away. You know very little about what you speak, and should be more cautious. There is liberty in Christ, but maybe a reading of romans would do you some good. It might serve as a reminder that what we might not have a problem with, might be an issue for others. Paul's recommendation in such instances...sacrifice, not condemnation, even on the most important of issues, of which this stupid game certainly is not.

lol if you think this game is to much, perhaps you should not be in youth ministry.

It pains me to read through these comments and feel the tenseness and the harshness between those that should be the family of Christ. What if an unchurched person read this? What are we telling them? I don't agree with the lap sitting, because for me I am cautious of the lessons students learn when we are not trying to teach them. Like that it might be ok here, to sit in their boyfriend or girlfriend's lap, which can then lead into other inappropriate PDA. (But that doesn't mean that we don't have fun!) But, if you disagree, that's ok too. Let's please refrain from the harshness and negativity. We were meant to glorify God, lead people to Him, and build each other up. Not this.

^Well said!
Honestly, I think we just need to use our disgression - know the group you're working with. My youth group and I are all very comfortable with each other - like brothers and sisters. We'd find it absolutely hilarious, and a lot of fun. But not all groups are the same. Our group loves hugs and and craziness and we'd find this a lot of fun, not sexual or innapropriate at all.
But, by the same token, I know a lot of youth groups quite different to our that this game wouldn't be a very good idea for.

I think it's important to speak out against things that are inappropriate. I have seen many comments about boys struggling with this game, but I can say that when I was a girl in youth group, this game would have been extremely awkward for me and probably would have lead me to impure thoughts. I never would have said anything about it though; I would have just tried to go along with everyone else. So, just because you think everyone's having fun and enjoying themselves and not being tempted, you really can never know. There are tons of other ways to have fun, no temptation needed.